Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
