Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
