toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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