are you still at the devil's house?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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