Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"

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  (646): A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!" http://tfl.nu/psh2
  Replies (10) Good night (1863) Bad night (773)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn

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  (708): it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn http://tfl.nu/jekg
  Replies (5) Good night (925) Bad night (1206)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.

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  (647): You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened. http://tfl.nu/1lek
  Replies (32) Good night (18276) Bad night (828)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going

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  (513): My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going http://tfl.nu/twm1
  Replies (7) Good night (885) Bad night (4608)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.

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  (724): I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move... (412): Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am. http://tfl.nu/4pbg
  Replies (13) Good night (5433) Bad night (1559)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even

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  (317): Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night... (317): Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even http://tfl.nu/pe86
  Replies (7) Good night (2719) Bad night (654)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.

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  (703): I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you. http://tfl.nu/0abv
  Replies (5) Good night (1869) Bad night (568)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.

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  (479): As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man. http://tfl.nu/2x85
  Replies (2) Good night (829) Bad night (391)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the evidence from last night is not good...

  (904): View more from Florida

  what evidence?

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...

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  (843): the evidence from last night is not good... (904): what evidence? (843): my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair... http://tfl.nu/ykqm
  Replies (3) Good night (1081) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.

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  (607): I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid. (1-607): Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late. http://tfl.nu/e8gd
  Replies (8) Good night (1832) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.

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  (306): whoa! who said he's my boyfriend? (1-306): Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina. http://tfl.nu/k1yy
  Replies (7) Good night (2762) Bad night (479)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?

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  (503): Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right? http://tfl.nu/3qlx
  Replies (13) Good night (1197) Bad night (382)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it

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  (954): My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it http://tfl.nu/o7iy
  Replies (9) Good night (984) Bad night (196)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.

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  (773): I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move. http://tfl.nu/qg2k
  Replies (6) Good night (820) Bad night (187)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.

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  (586): She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late. http://tfl.nu/tfi4
  Replies (5) Good night (213) Bad night (342)

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