Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Milquetoast, coolest word ever.

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(248): View more from Michigan

My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.

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(443): View more from Maryland

My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(201): View more from New Jersey

He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.

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(702): View more from Nevada

she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.

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(858): View more from California

At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...

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(727): View more from Florida

I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this

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