Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf

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  (540): I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf http://tfl.nu/8zma
  Replies (31) Good night (2721) Bad night (560)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.

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  (206): i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate. http://tfl.nu/mwsu
  Replies (53) Good night (6018) Bad night (899)
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  (831): View more from California

  So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...

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  (831): So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me... http://tfl.nu/3wpt
  Replies (18) Good night (1464) Bad night (6693)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"

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  (515): I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson" http://tfl.nu/itij
  Replies (11) Good night (7759) Bad night (1098)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.

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  (509): You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you. http://tfl.nu/aqxp
  Replies (3) Good night (2415) Bad night (861)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him

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  (216): there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him http://tfl.nu/zgop
  Replies (1) Good night (1270) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.

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  (646): I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly. http://tfl.nu/khhz
  Replies (11) Good night (2232) Bad night (737)
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  (607): View more from New York

  You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick

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  (607): You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick http://tfl.nu/kpxh
  Replies (18) Good night (3165) Bad night (1000)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  What changed your mind?

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Being sober

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  (616): What changed your mind? (1-616): Being sober http://tfl.nu/yhh4
  Replies (3) Good night (1609) Bad night (635)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?

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  (613): Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you? http://tfl.nu/o3d1
  Replies (4) Good night (1733) Bad night (526)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care

  (315): View more from New York

  I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.

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  (607): Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care (315): I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt. http://tfl.nu/8ucq
  Replies (4) Good night (1275) Bad night (689)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......

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  (901): Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this...... http://tfl.nu/c0ql
  Replies (6) Good night (525) Bad night (1356)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left

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  (412): I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left http://tfl.nu/b3w5
  Replies (12) Good night (487) Bad night (889)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.

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  (773): i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive. http://tfl.nu/jzd0
  Replies (1) Good night (279) Bad night (538)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman

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  (630): I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman http://tfl.nu/cwps
  Replies (3) Good night (514) Bad night (463)

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