Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
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you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
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Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk