Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

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  (334): I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around. http://tfl.nu/tfd4
  Replies (12) Good night (1770) Bad night (5079)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.

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  (801): Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with. http://tfl.nu/sran
  Replies (13) Good night (2295) Bad night (3350)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.

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  (315): And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter. http://tfl.nu/66e0
  Replies (7) Good night (3586) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.

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  (626): There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you. http://tfl.nu/ru1c
  Replies (4) Good night (3327) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.

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  (509): I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore. http://tfl.nu/24ew
  Replies (10) Good night (1158) Bad night (2237)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt

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  (814): I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt http://tfl.nu/8loq
  Replies (8) Good night (739) Bad night (2341)
• Favorite

  (696): View more from

  Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?

  (451): View more from

  Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes

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  (696): Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right? (451): Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes http://tfl.nu/39ll
  Replies (7) Good night (2154) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong

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  (714): When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong http://tfl.nu/jidy
  Replies (5) Good night (570) Bad night (1543)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.

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  (315): you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/5ljo
  Replies (3) Good night (1155) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?

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  (612): She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy? http://tfl.nu/le82
  Replies (16) Good night (1187) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.

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  (216): I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right. http://tfl.nu/rt33
  Replies (4) Good night (1176) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong

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  (605): Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong http://tfl.nu/jxwn
  Replies (1) Good night (651) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.

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  (330): I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won. http://tfl.nu/41ux
  Replies (5) Good night (490) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??

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  (336): I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better?? http://tfl.nu/p0ng
  Replies (3) Good night (694) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom

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  (479): These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom http://tfl.nu/tghj
  Replies (1) Good night (869) Bad night (295)

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