Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  ______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants. (202): ______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up. http://tfl.nu/3a4d
  Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up http://tfl.nu/cb8k
  Replies (28) Good night (1118) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head. http://tfl.nu/g2zg
  Replies (19) Good night (1036) Bad night (4611)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless http://tfl.nu/3wa2
  Replies (11) Good night (4376) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  thatta girl

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga. (1-812): thatta girl http://tfl.nu/kona
  Replies (28) Good night (5154) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we'll go far in life on tits alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): we'll go far in life on tits alone. http://tfl.nu/gwfe
  Replies (22) Good night (5031) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack http://tfl.nu/plmg
  Replies (10) Good night (1123) Bad night (4052)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times. http://tfl.nu/t6mj
  Replies (4) Good night (1554) Bad night (2390)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy. http://tfl.nu/vwp7
  Replies (14) Good night (4374) Bad night (1455)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+49): In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life? http://tfl.nu/2p4e
  Replies (2) Good night (1394) Bad night (1505)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck. http://tfl.nu/363f
  Replies (11) Good night (1807) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant? http://tfl.nu/queo
  Replies (3) Good night (953) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  ROADTRIP.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak. (1-405): ROADTRIP. http://tfl.nu/2zv7
  Replies (20) Good night (1632) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off. http://tfl.nu/ojpk
  Replies (2) Good night (891) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  ...it's a 9am class...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer? (505): ...it's a 9am class... http://tfl.nu/7p5a
  Replies (2) Good night (604) Bad night (299)

Randomize