You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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