i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
