I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
