i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wish i was in the wii world.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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