At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It was confusing and full of hummus
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
