I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
