It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
