So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
