I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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