So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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