Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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