I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
