My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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