I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
