he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
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we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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