i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
