He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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