I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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