Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
