May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
