I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
