he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
