Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
