The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
