Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
