3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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