If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
