Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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