chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
