I just saw a hot homeless man
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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