whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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