We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
