Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
