Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
