I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Randomize
