I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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