im drinking this country out of the recession.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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