Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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