i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have grass duct taped all over my body
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize