GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
