I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
