You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
