the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
