We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Two words: blizzard sex
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
