I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
