hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
stop calling my apartment porn island.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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