this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
