well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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