Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
