That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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