You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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