Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
