Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
