don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
