i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
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Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
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we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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