i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
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Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
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I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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