You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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