Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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