party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm passing your future prison.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
