I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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