I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
