He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
